Sunday, March 20, 2011

Yakisoba!


Yakisoba! Is what I had for dinner tonight...at 11:16 pm...cheddar cheese, I eat no other kind even though I bought the chicken "flavor" because I didn't want to seem so "only child" and "obsessive." I like to call these food obsessions seasons. This is a perfect simile for what I have as seasons can be both brief or enduring. I'm currently in fruit and ben & jerry's season. Fruit season came on suddenly with a flurry. Ben & Jerry's season has been long. So long that I'm back to a size 16 jean. Damn you Americone Dream! Damn you.

As I'm letting my noodles "stand in the microwave for at least one minute" I think about how age-inappropriate this dinner is. I'm a solid 35. Solid. And I have perfected making these noodles. The recipe is as follows:

Open package, peel back a flap from the corner (very well marked), remove flavor packet, fill with water exactly to line, microwave 4 minutes, let stand (see previous paragraph). Remove from microwave, and drain - not all of it - need a little bit of carb-soaked water for noodles to have desired creamy consistency without being too watery or too dry. Mix vigorously in a figure eight pattern, until packet is Incorporated. Pour noodles into bowl - just because my noodles came in a plastic carton from which a consumer can certainly and without shame,eat, doesn't mean we can't class it up a bit. The last touch is a bit of Lawry's Seasoned Salt on top. Because I'm positive this dish needs MORE sodium.

Why this meal is inappropriate? Let's look at the stats: 560 calories, 14 grams of fat (really? from a flavor packet?) I'm not quite certain the noodles or the "flavor packet" are members of any actual food group. Bottom line, if I know where to get the Nutrition Facts and am actually aware of what everything means, this food is clearly imprudent.

Why do I eat it then? Because its good and my body feels nourished and warm afterwards. Because last year with the new job, the bad back and mom's cancer, demand for big-girl pants was high. For a little while longer I'll eat like I was supposed to when I was in college but never did. Life owes me that!